You know those days when you wake up and you don't have a single pimple on your face, your hair is full and shiny uncombed and yet you went to bed super late? This is not about one of those days. I woke up to make coffee and instead of a pot of coffee I got a pot of hot water. The coffee was in the maker, the water too, but somehow I got a pot of water. Then I attempted to surf perfect waves, a DOUBLE rainbow connecting Queens to Pops, and I was junk. Last - there was a boy. A boy with a boat (boys with boats are pirates) a boy I thought of as an 8 on a scale from 1 to 10. But after a series of unfortunate events the boat barely left the harbor. Curses!
It wasn't so much that I was disappointed about the non-sailing. It was more in the way the situation was handled; unapologetic, awkward, hardly a meet cute (high potential, low outcome). Had it been with a more willing partner the haphazardness of the event could have been plenty fun, but it wasn't, and I began to wonder - is it me? A few hours spent commiserating with friends and playing pool and the world was better. It was like seeing the world through a dirty window, much better if untouched, and I slowly realized what lay on the other side was still just as beautiful, just waiting for the pane to be cleaned.
It wasn't so much that I was disappointed about the non-sailing. It was more in the way the situation was handled; unapologetic, awkward, hardly a meet cute (high potential, low outcome). Had it been with a more willing partner the haphazardness of the event could have been plenty fun, but it wasn't, and I began to wonder - is it me? A few hours spent commiserating with friends and playing pool and the world was better. It was like seeing the world through a dirty window, much better if untouched, and I slowly realized what lay on the other side was still just as beautiful, just waiting for the pane to be cleaned.
I've always been an all or nothing kind of girl, 99.9% won't do (maybe it's the Asian in me...) so when my Jersey boy up and left (Hawai'i wasn't for him) I had to restart... not only restart - I had to friggin' wipe my hard drive clean and do a complete OS reinstall and believe me... this process is just as hard on this little stretch of sand as it is in the Big Apple.
So I moved - to the windiest block in Waikiki. I started taking my longboard out everyday and asking the universe what went wrong. Why oh wai? or Maybe, 'why oh kai' is more appropriate. When I decided to stay in Hawai'i and walk away from, let's call him Charlie, I felt like I had turned my back on the ocean.
Surf Rule # 1: Never turn your back on the ocean.
But I did. I did because I want to be a writer and I won't write about what I don't know; it takes time to get to know something, someone, somewhere and so I am here and he is there. Now it's just him and now it's just me. But lots of things in life have dings, breaks, imperfect parts. What's important is how we fix them, to not just furiously rub with wax, hoping it'll hold through this one perfect 10-giving day.
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A wave was breaking at the beach today - beautiful, clean, mist off the top, clear blue to the sandy bottom of the ocean. It was a challenge, and I had to choose. Am I brave enough, strong enough, woman enough to ride it? Some people hang 5, hang 10, I HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE.
In the beginning of surfing we are taught to surf the baby waves with the biggest boards we can handle. PADDLE, PADDLE, PADDLE, pop up! It's a constant undulation of the body adjusting to the motion of the
ocean. Hearing this at the beach today made me think. Pidgin to me kind of sounds like this - up up up down down. up up up down down. For example:
You like go to Wai-kiki?
We go surfin' on da sea.
I make follow in da kine
Wan day soon ya gonna shine.
Even the vernacular is like a wave: cresting and crashing... the highest highs, the lowest lows. But as long as there's the up up up, and only two downs, we're good! But the balance has to be more up than down.
Figuring this all out will take time, a lot of hiking, a lot of surfing and a lot of breaking into cars; I know I'm random - but I like to think of it as living life on a heavy rotation ;)
And now for your viewing pleasure I submit:
The Blanket Break-in.~!
You're only too random if you fall out of your budget.
- Ms. T
Life is hard - if it wasn't I wouldn't be doing it. But you know what... aloha happens.
Have a great day!
bvw.
Love your blog... I don't know much about surfing but I turn my back to the ocean all the time - even though I have been told not to - It's easier because I can't turn fast enough when I see a good wave. So I chose to live dangerously. I will place myself in a more vulnerable position but absolutely refuse to miss my wave. I'll let other people play it safe, and anyhow, I always liked going against what most people do. I think your wave will come and you will be ready, just pay attention because it will be perfect and it will be yours.
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